Knowing nothing is better then knowing at all

[shadow_hive]

Tomorrow I was gonna go to Birmingham for Gay Pride/Forbidden Planet/Sea World/Bullet (yes, major multitasking) but I've lost both the energy and will to go. I'm sure even the promise of guys kissing, cute animals and Jay couldn't manage to properly get me going.

The reason? Because today we finally found out something.

The cancer's terminal. It's spread too much for them to do anything about it. They can't remove it, the can't stop it and they can't slow it. They don't know exactly how long he's got. He could go in months, he could go tomorrow. They just don't know.

Although I pretty much guessed that's how bad it was, it still doesn't prepare you for hearing the words.

But hearing it didn't start me crying. What did was when mum said that he wouldn't be able to see nan.

I'm so angry at the doctor's that could have caught this months ago and done something about it.

Now I'm confused by something that's going around and trying to get my mind off things with Pokemon and tv. I'm also hopeful that a seller on e-bay will accept cash for cheap Star Wars stuff he has.

Little things keep me sane.

Comments

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling :(
*hugs*

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

Thank you *clings* I've felt pretty... blah and eh all day.

[llprincesskimll.livejournal.com]

Theres not really anything one can say to someone who's been given this news as nothing ever sounds sincear, but I'm thinking of you and him.

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

I know:( *cuddles* thanks

[xcupidxstuntx.livejournal.com]

Dude, that sucks so much, I'm so sorry to hear that. Stupid NHS *huggles tightly*

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

I know:( *hates them* *cuddles*

[elzawelza.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry hun *hugs tightly*

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

*cuddles* Thankie(

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

Thankie *clings* I'm not gonna go now. *holds*

[loisneach.livejournal.com]

I'm terribly sorry to hear that, and I know everyone's here for you. Me included, really. You'll be in my thoughts.

[loisneach.livejournal.com]

And I know I suck at being supportive in the best of times, but I mean that. Really.

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

*cuddles8 Thank you < 3 It means so much

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

Thankie. I dunno:(

Yeah... but I just.. .don't wanna

[megan23451.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I can't say anything other than I'm sorry, because I suck at making people feel better - I can't even do that to myself.

But I am. I don't know what you're going through, and I'm miles away so I can't hug you, but... =[