Can't even hit people

[shadow_hive]

Last night I had technical difficulties, hence the fics being posted late. The connection to device I use to store fics on to transfer from the laptop to the comp kept fucking around. I really need to get it fied so all the USB oports don't keep fucking up. It took me over an hour to sort out. Or maybe that's an exxageration, but it felt like that.

Bah. Oh well, they're there now.

We didn't go to Lakeside today, bah. So I fell asleep and slept for two hours. No point getting up for nothing.

Got Kerrang though. The gig getting 5 K's is love. The picture of The Used is weird, cause Quinn's got dark hair and Bert has light hair, which is strange. The calandar is love too. Especially the Bullet and MCR ones as they're new pictures.

I feel really sorry for Matt with the problems with his voice. It's meant that the gig we were going to has been postponed until next January. Means I'll be back here sooner then expected though, so yay.

Babu's got a cuddly unicorn from Tesco, which is absolutely adorable and fluffy. There'll be pics later.

Oriental boy porn is sex. There's not enough of it.

I'm going to try and stop going on Pokemon, so babu can catch up. We were meant to go at the same pace and I kinda... played more. Oops.

I've got some other fic done, but I'm too annoyed with the laptop and sitting cross-legged on the floor to write more right now.

I'm resisting the urge to get pissed off with mychemicalslash again, as I tried to post the fics I did last night and they've neither been accepted or rejected: even though about three lots of fics have been since I tried to post it. Once again, the system pisses me off. I'm trying to see it as a mistake though, but it seems unlikly. With it neither accepted or rejected I can't even try to post anything else.

I've commented the mod to see what's going on.

Erm... what else? I think that's it.

Lakeside tomorrow or Saturday, I hope it's tomorrow.

I'll do the Christmas post thing later on.

Mum annoys me.

Edit: Mod says LJ lost it and it must've done as it's just posted it.

Comments

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

Please don't. I'm only trying to help. I'm sorry. I just worry about you, okay?

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

Ok, that caught me off guard. When I wrote that I came up with two names that I thought would say something like that, but neither were yours

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

I said it with only the best of intentions. I'm sorry I offended you. I didn't meant to say the things you do AREN'T worthwhile, it's just... I don't know I feel like I can see you trying to hide from real life in them? Like a job, or uni, or anything... all just masked by things like fanfiction?

I honestly did not mean it in a horrible way.

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

I don't really have anything in terms of 'real life' now. I'm not at home, so how can I have any of those things? I don't particularly want them either. I don't like thinking about stuff like that. So what do I have in my 'real life'? Just a family that's falling apart because my nan has alheimers and I don't want to think about that.

I'd rather not back home to make roots, like getting a job because it would just give me a reason to stay there. Why try to go to Uni when they couldn't even tell me I'd got a place or a start date?

What I make important to me maybe small and pointless, like fanfiction or music or a million other things, but it keeps me from thinking about how bad things actually are and, right now, they're all I have.

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying that you can't see these things as important... but you can't just not face real life. It's going to catch up with you eventually, you know? Using distractions is all very well, but you can't outright ignore actual life.

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

I refuse to face it full stop. I won't let it catch up to me and I'll ignore it as long as humanly possible.

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

You won't be able to do that forever... I'm sorry I upset you, Stu, I really am. I'm just concerned, okay? :(

*cuddles?*

[shadow-hive.livejournal.com]

I just don't want to deal with everything that's going wrong for me, because if I do, I'll break down and I'd rather not do that again. So believe me, I'll try and hide forever.

Eh, I think I'll just go away now.

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

[lapifors.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't hate me, but I understand if you do.

[mrsvandertramp.livejournal.com]

I'm sorta glad that I now know that I'm not the only person who thought you were trying to hide away from life. I know you have a lot of problems and I understand that but there are plenty of people who are worse off and living their lives to the full.

You're saying you're not going to let life catch up with you and you're right, it's just gonna fly past you instead and one day you're going to wake up and wonder where all the times gone.

You have so many positive things to live for (I would hope that having your girlfriend would help to outweight the negatives) so please don't try and hide