Am I the reason you breath or the reason you cry?

The past day has been... interesting. Thursday night I spoke to Gav on msn. He's offering a truce. Aparently he's sorry for what he's done. I'm unsure, I didn't believe him.

I say didn't instead of do because of yesterday. I went into school, and had to go to the sixth form area to sort out my locker and stuff. As I was climbing up the outside steps I heard a very enthusiastic "Stu!!" And there he was, waving and smiling. He looked... so perfect. Different but still... Is it wrong of me to still want him?

I seen Laura too, she looks good, so does Liz. I'm gonna go in early Monday and see em all. I have to.

After school, I went blood doning. It wasn't so bad. Until about 6 when I felt light headed (still do). So I couldn't go shopping today. *pout*

Seen Kel, and have stuff do to, but kazaa's being a bitch!

The heart wants, what the heart wants

All this thinking about gav has reminded me how some people thought I was being foolish to want him, to care about him, to love him. Maybe I am, maybe I was. But it wasn't my choice, wasn't my decision. I can't get rid of it, no matter how hard I try I'll always want him. Don't like that? Then fuck off. It's how I feel and I have no choice now. Why? Because no one fucking bothered to even try to tear it outta me. No one bothered to try and stop me when it would have worked. No one. So don't try now. Never try now.